I feel at times that I am on the verge of a simple life. Or I could say that my life is simpler than I think. I want to maintain my agency and my boundaries - and I've noticed that I'm better at sticking up for myself and saying no. And I need to be more connected. One thing that gets in the way of making connections is my fear of connecting. How to put that: that I feel judged or unworthy - and how is that but the result of my childhood - a sense of needing protection. When a family determines that a child needs to be shielded then the result is a social handicap.
But the simplicity I'm feeling: I feel it is related to intuiting Jung's admonition to learn how to die. I don't mean being gloomy and Lentish - fixated on Holy Saturday or Goth. Learning to die is not living in denial of death. Trying to be young, trying to do more to push and push.
No comments:
Post a Comment