Things develop and morph. By image 8 I'm letting lines go and not worrying over surface details. I'm more concerned with composition and creating a sense of freedom and energy. Lately I've been thinking about how, because of childhood trauma, I have lived what I call a disembodied life. I noticed this in Chicago, walking through the Art Institute, and then it hit me looking at the Gustons and the Twomblys - that what I'm looking for lies in the direction of putting out myself in the image. That on the one hand my super ego constrains and inhibits me toward a sense of mimesis and need for precedent - while on the other hand my id and libido demand gratification. What gets lost in this dialectic is what makes the work mine. Jung would probably put the conflict between my shadow and my persona - a dialectic that avoids integration in a self because the persona and shadow aren't directly engaged with the ego. Deleuze might talk about how I judge too much and should concentrate on bringing into existence - take whatever I find and connect it to whatever comes. There's value in all these viewpoints - all lead to a sense of freedom with materials on a surface corresponding with a freedom inside me.
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