someone could be more efficient than me but I don't care

place

emotions are so strong - our world makes constant emotional appeals - how to consume, how to think, who to be mad at, who to compare yourself to or resent - and I wonder, if when we found our buttons being pushed, we took our eyes off the target and instead focused on the entities pushing our buttons - "well I won't buy this or support this" - having run the gamut of the political spectrum and the theological spectrum, being emotionally tied to various brands since childhood (my drink, my team, my region) I find myself embedded in systems and structures - and the buttons that push my emotions are so well placed. I am learning to stop - to try to see where love leads, to see where our common humanity lies in everyone I meet. Are we all hidden to each other like astronauts wearing pressure suits? What if we took off those suits and discovered that the air has been good all along. Or if the next time a button were being pushed, our response were to look at the pusher and tell them to bug off?

Text from two Facebook posts this date - years apart

where would I be without art? If various relatives and teachers had won the battle - as it were, to make me pliable and conforming. Channeled my mind into the manageable stream bed of their expectations. Doused my imagination into the dim equivalent of theirs. Would they have liked me? Would we have sprung up a relationship of depth and trust? Shared some intimacy of the spirit that would have sustained us all?
In my heart I knew such outcomes were unlikely. There was no message but practicality (as they understood it); no goal but to silence otherness - so what - that they could maintain an horizon flat and predictable. Their job, I suppose, as they saw it.


life is fascinating: sometimes I find myself riffing without thinking about it, or desiring it - and then I back off - I should save this for therapy; I'm off on my own, trying some innate Tao kind of thing, of doing without doing - which seems the only way I get things done - my doing by doing eventuating in madcap adventures and narrow escapes - sometimes I discover that I've been able to go home all along - which makes me drink too much

reflections on asherah as madona figure - along with a trinity of levantine consorts

emotions are so strong - our world makes constant emotional appeals - how to consume, how to think, who to be mad at, who to compare yourself to or resent - and I wonder, if when we found our buttons being pushed, we took our eyes off the target and instead focused on the entities pushing our buttons - "well I won't buy this or support this" - having run the gamut of the political spectrum and the theological spectrum, being emotionally tied to various brands since childhood (my drink, my team, my region) I find myself embedded in systems and structures - and the buttons that push my emotions are so well placed. I am learning to stop - to try to see where love leads, to see where our common humanity lies in everyone I meet. Are we all hidden to each other like astronauts wearing pressure suits? What if we took off those suits and discovered that the air has been good all along. Or if the next time a button were being pushed, our response were to look at the pusher and tell them to bug off?

a run of photos

josuf sudek my labyrinth

rodchenko steps

eva hess ascension

joseph wright of derby

art shay simone de bouvier

august sandar

sarah goodridge beauty reveled 

images not always my own that I like having access to and who knows how long this pc will hold out